Friday was my last day. And what a fiasco it was!
I am worried. I hope that my retirement “sunset” metaphor doesn’t apply to the future of libraries.
Last days are almost always bitter-sweet as you can imagine. My first school year was 1970-1971, and my last school year was 2010-2011. FORTY years – thirty of them at Gananda. You can imagine the changes I have seen. Alas! On my last day it appears that others have seen no change at all. Here is how my day went.
8:00 – Last Faculty Meeting. Challenges for next year. Celebrations for this year. Good-byes to folks who are leaving. This was all lovely.
8:30 – 12:45 – Tying up loose ends and feeling very sad. My assistant’s last day was yesterday, so am feeling very lonely. DISCLAIMER: Lest you feel too sorry for me, I had a WONDERFUL retirement party on June 11. My colleagues are great, and appreciate my efforts. But anyone is bound to be sad on their last day after so many years.
11:45 – 11:55 – Carry the last of my personal effects out to car.
11:58 – One last look around my library (my baby), and I am off to my car with a tear or two in my eyes. I am in charge of the trail-hike for our Wellness Day that we always have on our last day. Seems like a good way to “march” happily off into the sunset of my retirement…
12:00 Noon – I pull out of the parking lot, feeling a bit sad and lonely. OK. A LOT sad and lonely. Where the HELL is the marching band and the crowds of adoring fans?
12:10 – I pull into the MacDonald’s drive-through, having stopped the sobbing and hiccuping long enough to order lunch.
12:11 – I realize that I have lost my wallet and have no money to pay for lunch. PANIC!!!
12:15 – I arrive at the hiking trail and shove the sign-in form at one of the participants, promising that I will be back to pick it up ASAP.
12:15 – 12:30 – Race home, miraculously avoiding any police speed traps, and find my wallet where it apparently fell on the floor last night.
12:30 – 12:45 – Race back to the hiking trail, again avoiding justice, throw on my hiking gear, pick up the sign-in papers, and I am finally ready to go.
12:55 – On the trail at last. Now I can relax and reflect back on my career as I stroll off into the sunset.
Well….not quite. It is sprinkling. Oh well. Surely it will stop soon. And it does. I get to enjoy the hike after all. Yay!
1:30 …. I meet some Gananda folks on the trail. One of them I know well. She is a very perceptive person and she tells me she has been thinking about me all day. I give her a hug. She introduces me to her elementary school teacher friends. We chat for awhile. AND THEN IT HAPPENS. In the course of the conversation, one of the elmentary teachers asks that question every librarian gets (usually multiple times) during his/her career. “OH. Do you have to go to SCHOOL to be a librarian?!” No honey, I just have to register a heartbeat. No brain waves required, as long as I can check out a book. It’s in the job description. I didn’t even have the strength to give my usual recitation of my degrees. I simply said “Of course we do” hoping she would feel like a dolt, and then changed the subject.
1:35 – It begins to sprinkle again….only harder this time. So, in spite of my strong desire to leave the group so I can SCREAM, I decide to turn around and get back to the parking lot.
1:40 – it begins to POUR. We start to run. The others are far better runners than I am and they get way ahead. Thankfully, my friend stays with me.
2:00 – By the time we get back we are literally drenched to the skin! We say good-bye and line our car seats with the rain gear we should have worn on the hike in the first place.
2:10 – The rest of my high school buddies are at an end of year party that I’d WANTED to attend. Alas! (or I guess I really should say “Hurray!”) – My hubby and his Mom had surprised me by arranging to see the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in an informal concert for anyone lucky enough to read the little blurb in the paper. I couldn’t say no to that, even in favor of a party. What could possibly be a better way to mark the end of my career than a rousing rendition of the Hallelujah Chorus by – of all groups – the Mormon Tabernacle Choir?!!
2:15 – 3:30 – I meet Bob and his mom at her house in Palmyra. I have to borrow a bathrobe and then put everything I was wearing into the dryer. My hair? …. oh well. I won’t know anyone at the concert anyway.
4:00 – We arrive at the concert. We wait. It is supposed to take place sometime between 4 and 5 pm – as soon as the bus arrives. Next thing we know, folks are all getting up to leave. Apparently, the bus broke down and the concert has been cancelled.
That is what the whole day has been. Why am I surprised? Anyway – we go off and have a nice meal and the day ends eventually.
9:00 pm – I can’t help but reflect. I have thrown myself heart and soul into this profession. And here are the two statements that have book-ended that career:
Fall, 1970 – I am in charge of a mid-sized middle school library. No library aide, so I must do it all myself. I enlist a crew of student helpers with assorted capabilities and disabilities…but lots of enthusiasm. One dear child was SO challenged, that I had to search for jobs that I could either do over myself quickly after she left, or I could actually just toss in the waste basket. No matter how I tried, I could not find a task that she could perform acceptably. But she was a nice little girl and so I did the best I could. At Open House, her mother came in gushing, “Oh Mrs. Henry. I am SO glad that my daughter is a library helper. You know, she is not very bright, so I am hoping that when she grows up she can be a librarian!” Well, how does one respond to THAT, I ask you?!! So, realizing that probably the apple did not fall far from the tree, I simply smiled and said I was glad that her daughter enjoyed helping.
June 24, 2011 – My last day of a 40 year career and I run into yet another person who says, “OH. Do you have to go to SCHOOL to be a librarian?!”
HUGE Sigh….
I have lived with this disrespect for our profession for decades. God bless you all that follow on from here. I hope you can change the ingrained stereotype in the future. I tried. Really I did. But even now, when we are so involved with teaching students information and technology skills – it is STILL there. Go forth and fight the good fight. Right now I am tired. I will bounce back, and hopefully find a way to continue the good fight in retirement.
I swear, my gravestone will say:
“Yes – I had to go to school for this. And if your school does not have a certified teacher-librarian with a masters degree, then you should SUE that school for malpractice!”